Week 100 - Xanner-mas Centennial

Nanner explaining why the chicks dig Jesus

Nanner and Jesus shared an anniversary this week.  Nanner hit the century mark while Papa Joe posted his 104,676th Yahweh of the Week.

More Grandma, less Jesus.

Today is Christmas, and I got a box.

"But can you not also build bridges out of stone?"

Week 99 - Warning

"99 weeks in and you're just now issuing a warning?  Ha!"

This week, for Aimee's 29th birthday, we sat on this very couch for our first ever family-of-4-portrait.  The photo below was the best of about 40 attempted and received more "likes" on the Facebook than the birth announcements of either of our children.  

"It's my birthday so it's most important that I look good." -Aimee

Warning

Inside everybody's nose,

There lives a sharp-toothed snail.

So if you stick your finger in, 

He may bite off your nail.

Stick it farther up inside, 

And he may bite your ring off.

Stick it all the way, and he

Might bite the whole darn thing off.

Week 98 - Nannermedowns

Jane, take notice.  This will be your winter coat in two years.  Poor Jane - your father feels your pain.

It's one week after Nanner's world came crashing down and overall and we're (mostly) impressed with Nanner's response.  

Though we know the day will come when I'll be in the wood shop cutting a piece of plywood to match the curvature of the car's back seat.

"Daddy thought he was being clever with this snowsuit thing but it's a cover up.  Literally.  He was too lazy to find a cute sweater (I'm wearing this one for the third time this week) and my pigtails are totally cockeyed."

Jane is cute and cuddly, yes, but by Friday some of us had Cabin Fever.  Unfortunately, when daddy and the Nanner ventured outside, the temperature was an uncooperative 12 degrees.

'And then the big brown shark came!...'

Nothing that Amazonian turtles, coral reefs, and dolphins couldn't solve.  Daddy date at the Shedd Aquarium.

Week 97 - New Nannerkin

Mama didn't say 'Simon Says'

Nannertown was invaded today by a little person who looked eerily familiar.  Familiar outfit and familiar furled brow, and a familiar favorite spot on Nanner's couch.  

"Seriously...get your own blog"

But Nanner was very sweet and helpful.  She confirmed that Jane does in fact have eyes, a nose, and inserted her finger at least a half dozen times to verify the presence of Jane's mouth. 

Ready, set, chaos.   

  

Week 96 - Nanner Patiently

Still

Waiting

Patiently

Week 95 - 95 Weeks to Life

They say prison makes you hard.  And lazy.

Nanner has been the one and only, the princess of her domain, for the first 95 weeks of her life.  Now this week or next, for the rest of her life, she'll have to share her tiara and the affection that comes with it with another little princess.  She's the only one here hoping that stretches to 96.

With flaah-fy blonde curls and a pink Columbia fleece, she looked like every other 2 year old yuppy on Southport Avenue.

Nanner has also gone the first 95 weeks of her life without a proper haircut.  She's endured "mama-bangs", "The David Cassidy" and "The JT" before Irina set her straight:  "We make curls nice and flaah-fy, yes?"

Week 94 - Three-Headed Nanner

One

Two

Three

I couldn't pick one this week.  I wanted to choose the one which best represented her current personality so here they are.

Sweet and opinionated, serious and funny, and always our Nanner.

Week 93 - Nanner's Own Medicine

Nanner trying to remember where the nearest Fire Station is...
(yes the baby came with clothes and no, Aimee and I were not the ones who removed them).

We decided to get Anna a "real baby" to help convey the idea of Baby Jane.  Baby bottle, it pees, you change its diaper, eyes open and close - the whole nine yards.  And Nanner loves it, can't get enough of the new baby doll.  But there are also some unintended consequences/benefits - the result of which is that Nanner is getting some of her own medicine.

It's tough being a new mom!  Those little suckers drain the energy right out of you and you don't have time for anything else...

Catching a quick snooze while pretending to read a book (she'll never know):

"Really?  Another Elmo book?  You've got to be kidding me."

By the end of the week Nanner is finally getting the hang of the multi-tasking thing...taking her queues from Daddy...see Week 18.

"This nighttime thing is a snooze.  Nope, just milk...you don't think I would slip a 'sleep aid' in there do you??"

Week 92 - Nanner Knievel

Don't call me Super Dave.

The Evel Knievel / Barker tradition started long before the Nanner was a twinkle in her mama's eye.  Back when mama was still Rabidoux.  Call it an awesome costume that keeps on giving, or a father who has gotten too lazy and uncreative to come up with a new idea.  Milking the old one for all it's worth and proudly wearing the dirt and beer stains because the super-glued layers won't stand up to the rinse cycle.  

But the Nanner Knievel has breathed new life into daddy's old bag of tricks.  

Drinking milk for strong bones.

She was the star of Roscoe Village Halloween Fest, got way more attention than her father.  Daddy Knievel got a few head nods, a beer, and a, "great costume man" from the 40 year olds.  But it was mostly 4 year olds asking, "What are you supposed to be?"  

Ask your mom you little punk.  

Week 91 - Babysitters

Nanner doesn't care that Barney is sooooo 1992.

We said that we wouldn't do it, but we've come to learn that there is something magical about a stuffed purple dinosaur and that stupid jingle.  Nanner-couch shot?  Barney.  Mama's got to shower?  Elmo.  Daddy is hungover on a Saturday morning and needs help watching Anna?  Curious George.  And so on.

This is Anna showing off her swimming technique.  Seriously.  And I don't know where that baby clownfish just appeared from but mama clownfish sure looks appalled.

The other babysitter we've discovered is the bathtub.  Baff? Baff?  Bafftime dada?  Yes my dear, till your little fingers and toes turn to prunes and so daddy can eat his microwaved dinner while sitting on top of the toilet seat.

One of the thousand or so reasons we keep her around.

This photo is to prove that we're not total asshole parents.  Sometimes we take the Nanner with us when we go out on the town.  Actually to be honest, the only reason Nanner came to Little Goat with us this particular morning was because the babysitter cancelled on us.  Forced family day!  And we thought that two hours was too long to leave her in the tub alone.  Clownfish or no clownfish.

Week 90 - Southpaw'd

She was of course all smiles while Max Scherzer was pitching.

Yep, another late post.  Last Sunday night Aimee's facebook friends reminded her that there was a Tigers game on so we outfitted Nanner with her Uncle Greg-provided and daddy-approved Tigers hat (I'm happy that she likes to watch O's with me and that she's going to grow up a baseball fan).

But Leyland failed to bring in the lefty to face Big Papi with the bases loaded (Nanner was yelling, "Southpaw!...Play the matchup!!") and one pitch later she threw her Tigers hat across the room.

A look is worth at least 140 characters

So the Nanner posted this "selfie" and then went on a Twitter rampage.  Who knew one could fit so much emotion, thought, and Sabermetrics into 140 characters?  

Week 89 - Tater Salad

The eyes have it.  And the nose.  And the mustache.
And arms and glasses and hat - all of which are long lost under the couch.

This will be a fun one to revisit in the future.  This week Aimee said that (still in the belly) Jane - heartburn inducing, can't sleep resulting, back pain aching, pee when I cough embarrassing - yep that Jane - is already her favorite daughter.  Got that Anna?  It's time to shape up when someone with those credentials has overtaken you in the favorites department.  

The Audubon Proving Grounds - monkeying around.

I'm not sure she's listening.  

     

Week 88 - The Cooler (Mc)Queen

"Sir knight?  I've just pissed in my pants...and nobody can do anything about it."

Yep, mixing references here again this week.  It was that kind of week and Nanner is that kind of character.  

Just fifteen minutes ago, I went into her room because she was screaming bloody murder and I found her channeling her inner Captain Hilts:

I suppose getting hung up on Ikea furniture is a whole lot more pleasant than barbed wire.

The federal furlough accounts for the poor surveillance footage.  Apparently NSA's Nanner-cam operator is not considered "essential personnel". 

Week 87 - She'gone!

Apologies in advance for the photo overload.  But we broke out the fancy camera this weekend and couldn't resist going crazy with the shutter and flash.  In fact, we were so distracted by how cute the Nanner looked in 18 megapixels that we neglected to pay attention to one of the more critical aspects of our trip.

  

It's no Punkin Chunkin or Apple Scrapple Fest but it'll do.

Team Nanner (and the rest of Chicagoland) descended on Hobart, Indiana's County Line Orchard for apple picking and a fun filled near-farm experience. 

(what does that guy's hat say?)

Pretend tractor rides with a pretend redneck.

The moment that Nanner sensed something was missing.

(It was Nanner's idea to climb onto the cow)...A pretend cow providing genuine satisfaction.

Not sure what I'm looking for (yet),

but I'm damn cute doing it.

Somewhere between the Moo-Choo train ride and the walk to the car, we lost baby (ie daddy dropped Anna's babydoll on the ground as we walked away).

So we did what any of Chicagoland yuppie would do.  We used the Amazon app on our iPhone and bought another one (two - one for backup) for overnight delivery before we left the orchard parking lot.

So now we have a pretend babydoll (two) just in case daddy has another lapse in focus (not an unimaginable scenario).

Week 86 - Pippi Tall Tales

Still trying to figure out where the giraffe is hiding.

Don't call him a senior citizen - Pippi Rabidoux's eyes and sense of hearing are so good, he can spot the elusive Roscoe Village giraffe in our backyard before it darts for cover behind the garage and elm tree.  Seems like the Nanner is always just a touch too late every time. 

 

Bingo.

I told Pippi that he better deliver on his giraffe sightings so he and Nanner went looking for the Lincoln Park giraffe.  A much less elusive creature than its RV cousin.  

Mission accomplished.  Now even more eager to spot the RVG.

Week 85 - Mein Nanner

Wondering why they call it Oktoberfest when it's still September

Mein Nanner and I headed up to Lincoln Square to (yes) drink some beer and dance to the Volkslieder.  I did most of the drinking and Nanner did most of the dancing.

Mein Beer

But Nanner made the mistake of dancing the Volkslieder with a belly full of beer.

Mein Nanner just before she hurled on the street like all the other drunks.

She recovered quickly however and proceeded to run off and beat drunk Germans with a Captain America club.

Week 84 - Belabord Day Weekend

Nanner Shrugged

Sometimes you just need a break.  Nanner thanked the labor unions and enjoyed the day off but kept her copy of Atlas Shrugged in her back pocket.

Mama and pops decided to take the day off too so we went to Starbucks and found someone wearing a Michigan hat to watch the Nanner for the next 45 minutes to 6 hours.  How could you not trust that face?  What could go wrong?

Now it's obvious we choose Nanner's caretakers by the hats that they wear.  

The following photo is a picture of Anna being held by Uncle Paul, who just got back from Eastern Europe on Thursday, followed by a picture of Anna playing with Paul, and then one of Uncle Paul giving Anna an airplane ride.**

**unfortunately, Uncle Paul forgot to wear a hat this weekend, Anna could not build up an immediate trust relationship and these photos do not exist.  

Week 83 - Catch Twenty-flu

What would you give for a 4-hour nap?  How about the 24 hour stomach flu?

Nanner got it, then mama got it, and then papa got it.  All in time for the in-laws' visit and Labor Day weekend.  I think we'll stick with the 2-hour naps and regular bodily functions, thank you very much.

Week 82 - Nannerhood Adventure

Enough books already, Nanner wanted to go for a walk.

People watching at the Roscoe Village Museum of Fine Art

Scaling Mt. Roscoe

Don't be silly, there's no such thing as Lake Roscoe.
That's Lake Michigan.